Salvation Matrix

Religion / Discipline	Saved from what?	Method
Yoga	the sin of inflexibility	stretching
Kamasutra	not enough interesting sex	put everything into every orifice from every orientation
Taoism	being out of sync with "The Way"	realizing that being out of sync is actually just being in sync
Voodoo	zombies	something to do with chicken blood... I need to check
Buddhism	suffering	fast and sit until suffering doesn't seem so bad anymore
Zen	illusion of self	ponder riddles until illusion of self implodes
GTD	disorganization	focus on efficiency
Judaism	losing Jewish identity	focus on your Jewish identity
Christianity	hellfire	simulated cannibalism and devotion to torture devices

Any I forgot?