Zero to Zen Master: Zen as Mind Poison

So I'm trying to take zen seriously. I really am. But I feel like I'm in charge of testing whether or not some food has poison in it and I'm told, "just taste it!". Umm, sorry, no.

Here's the problem. I have my own ideas what enlightenment is or should be like. If I knew what it was exactly, presumably I'd already be there. But at the very least it seems fair that if someone points in the direction of enlightenment I should at least have some sanity check as to whether it's a reasonable direction. If you haven't noticed there are a lot of people claiming to point to enlightenment and they are pointing in a lot of incompatible directions.

My two main problems with studying zen then are: (1) do I have *any* indications that the zen people (and specifically which ones) are pointing in a valid (or at least interesting) direction? and (2) how do I jive this with what I think enlightenment is or should be?

On the first point, are there any examples of zen awesomeness? Presumably you can use zen to be calm, learn to go with the flow, etc. But seriously, who cares? If you are completely at sea and zen helps you find some inner calm, go for it. But how much calm do you need? And more importantly what is the value of a unit of calm worth compared to mastery of some skill or other life experiences? Don't get me wrong, I'm the first guy to sign up for alone time. But if I need to decide whether to use the time to get a little more "centered" or for instance learn another programming language. I get more joy from learning than pursuing calm. And if I could trade calm units I already have for instant mastery of another skill I'd probably be willing to do so. And probably even willing to go into debt.

I know zen is supposedly not about achieving some end, but really that's a BS answer. No one does something for no reason at all. Even if the reason is to satisfy your curiosity or some other unconscious inkling, you are not acting without some purpose. People do zen because they want something.

There is the idea that zen people are more in touch with their spontaneous side (really this is a Taoism thing, but we'll let the zen people have it for now). And of course doing zen will make you a master archer. Unfortunately there is no compelling reason to suppose that "zen" was the secret sauce, when we can just as easily rely on the simple maxim that mastery takes time. If you find some archer who practices archery everyday AND practices zen everyday why should you think zen helped him get to mastery? For all you know it slowed him down because he spent less time doing archery.

Secondly, it seems like enlightenment has to have something to do with true, deep understanding. In the case of zen the self or at least your awareness is your subject. Great. But do zen people have any great insights here? People studying cognitive science have learned a lot about the mind. It's not very clear to me that zen masters have really learned anything worth sharing on the topic. And it seems pretty likely that they have *lots* of metaphysical baggage from taking things like the existence of the soul, or atman or reincarnation seriously. And to make things worse, since they typically hide behind a wall of abstruse metaphors and nonsensical anecdotes, it's really hard to know.

They really could know something amazing about the self and awareness or other things I don't have an inkling of. But how would I now? If you don't have enlightenment already then sort of by definition you are going to have trouble identifying enlightenment in others. And honestly I think if people had true enlightenment they'd be able to share it more explicitly.

I can understand quantum mechanics (at least well enough). Is there any chance that the zen "truths" are more complicated, less expressible in words? Color me skeptical.

And yet...

And yet I plan to continue with my admittedly too brief meditation practice. And reading some zen books and thinking about the ideas.... I can't shake the feeling that there *is* something to meditation and the zen people seem to have spent the most time thinking about this area. But it's not really clear that the zen outer coating around the practice of mindfulness is anything but kruft.

And there is always a better way to test for poison than just eating whatever you are fed.

Zero to Zen Master: How I got here (again)

Some thoughts on how I came to spend my ever so valuable time thinking about silly things like zen. Like a lot of people I read a bunch of zen books in college. But that's college. You are allowed to do crazy experimental stuff. But now I'm a grown up (sort of) why am I wasting my time on this stuff again? I sort of got hit from three directions and decided to pay attention.

First, Sam Harris talks glowingly about contemplative practices in a number of places. And I was really intrigued by his essay on Buddhism and meditation.

Secondly I heard an interview with Susan Blackmore on pointofinquiry.org. It was a really interesting discussion on memes and parapsychology and drugs and consciousness and atheism. I was really surprised I had never heard of her before. I started reading her articles on her website and well, they are drenched in zen.

The last zen-ish thing was a little more circuitous. I had been reading some John (End of Science) Horgan writings on edge.org. This led me too his web site full of his essays and book excepts. I was particularly interested in his debunking of enlightened gurus. Some how from looking at this I found this article by Brad (HARDCORE ZEN) Warner which comments on Horgan's views on the topic. Soon after I started to read through his zen essays he started a blog which I keep in my feed and check every once in a while.

The funny thing is that it was Brad's writing that sort of broke the camel's back. And mostly it was his suggestion that to do zen you need to sit correctly. To what ever degree this is true it was what I needed to start having a *serious* meditation practice as meager as it is. Sitting slightly uncomfortably and with good posture really does make a difference. And his writings on zen are believable to me. He writes how he had a semi-mystical experience transcending space and time and viewing the whole universe in a vision of sorts and his zen teacher ridiculed him and told him it was garbage. It's a little thing, but that gives him credibility to me.

Now I need to actually read one (or more) of his books and see if I like him as much as I *think* I would.

Any way, dear reader, that is how I found myself in Zenville, in the zen district accross the street from Zen R Us, on Zen avenue. Perhaps you know the place.

Zero to Zen Master: General Plan

My basic plan for the year is to come up with month long experiments related to zen and to read some books. Nothing much fancier than that. Unless I think of something fancier. I've pondered briefly trying to identify a zendo in my area, but the thought of hanging out with a bunch of strangers and sitting quietly for long stretches of time seems kind of weird. Almost weirder than just going to church. So we'll just stick with my modest plan.

I have a list of books I'm planning to work through. I'll go over my list in the near future in some detail. As it happens I decided to read "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Zen Living" first. And despite my knee jerk expectation that the book would suck (just the title I guess) I actually like it and it seems like a pretty calm and level headed introduction.

To a large extent zen is really just about meditating. When I was in college reading about it it always had this sense of *magic* about it. If I could just "get it" some how I'd have this calmness, this well spring of spontaneity and I'd have wisdom in some deep way. And the ability to shoot a bow and arrow in the dark and hit my target. To what ever extent that stuff is true I currently am just of the opinion that zen is really just about training your attention.

In that vein I will try not to get too bound up in my books but will mostly focus on the zazen practice. For each month I'll try some variation of poses, meditation style, perhaps some koans and other little things that I think of. I'm trying not to plan too far ahead so that I can just do whatever makes sense based on what I've tried so far.

So for January here's the plan:

- meditate 8 minutes a day
- count to 10 with breath
- sit in half lotus
- keep in mind the first of the Noble Eightfold Path - right view
- mindfulness trigger: first bite of food each meal

8 minutes doesn't seem like very long, but if you've never tried it, it's *insanely* long. Also I don't have a lot of time. I think it's more important to establish a doable habit than to try to do things perfectly.

I'm doing the count to 10 thing as a sort of training wheel. I've kept up a nightly meditation routine for the last 6 months or so but I still find it so very hard to focus on my breath for the 8 minutes. I've read that counting to 10 is a good "hack" to help you stay focused.

Sitting in a slightly uncomfortable position has made mindfulness possible. Years ago when I tried meditating I always fell asleep. Now it's never a problem. Doing a "true" half lotus is beyond my skill but it's the perfect level for me to aim at for now. I would *love* to get to a full lotus during the year but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Right View. I'm not deeply interested in the Buddhist aspects of zen but I also don't want to ignore them completely. So I'll just review the different steps of the noble path for a while.

Mindfulness triggers. The goal of zen (for some) seems to be as much awareness of now as you can muster. A useful tip I've heard in this respect is to create "mindfulness triggers". In other words set up a habit of having your environment remind you to be mindful. My first trigger will be for first bites of meals.

Ok, that's enough talking about zen for now. Gotta go sit on my ass for 8 minutes before I head off too bed.

Adventures in Enlightenment: Zero to Zen Master

So it's time to take it up a notch. I've had some fun with my monthly samplers from the enlightenment buffet. But now it is time for a full meal. While I'm capable of many things, becoming enlightened by way of a month long experiment is apparently not within my power.

Let's make it a year then. If I can't get enlightened in a year then I think it's safe to say that this whole enlightenment thing is (gasp) a sham. Or I'm spiritually tone deaf, metaphysically color blind, or just dumb.

By a not very scientific assessment it seems that zen is the best bet. First of all the amount of clearly ridiculous beliefs you have to start out with are at a minimum and secondly there does appear to be some half way credible evidence around that meditating is good for you.

Zen seems to be one of those things that in a sense gets a "free ride" from otherwise skeptical people. My goal is to determine if there really is something interesting behind this whole zen thing or if its just more metaphysical gobbledygook. Along the way I could just get in on some of that satori action.

Over the next few days I'll start outlining exactly what my year long schedule is going to be and what the specific month long zen themed enlightenment experiments will be. Until then if you want to help a struggling zen-weenie along, what books would you recommend or warn against?

If you need a little zen snack to get you through the day while you are awaiting my words of wisdom, you could probably do worse than checking out the HARDCORE ZEN blog. (This author actually has at least a small role in my revisiting zen as I hope to talk about in the near future).

I think I hate Alan Watts

For some reason I was cruising around some zen links recently (this page started me off in that direction). I some how ended up on a page with Alan Watts giving a talk on The Pursuit of Pleasure. And man did I hate every minute of this. I wonder if it was just his smug voice or his absolutely atrocious cascade of non sequiturs or cutie-pie theme about how the real world is "wiggly" or I dunno.

The Way of Zen was one of my favorite books in college. It seemed so cool and deep at the time. Now if I ever read it again, I'm going to hear that voice.

Zen is dead to me now.

A Zen Parable

student: O Master, I have succeeded in the ways of the world (money, respect, love) but still I find my life is vaguely unsatisfying. Now I want, no, need, to follow the spiritual path. I have come to you to seek true wisdom.

master: This is a laudable goal. The Path is arduous and will push you to the breaking point. Do you think you are able to work diligently and follow my teachings without question?

student: Yes!

master: I estimate it will take you about 20 years to complete the training. You may begin today.

student: Thank you!

... 20 years ...

master: You have proven to be one of the most dedicated and disciplined students I have ever worked with. Never before have I seen someone so thoroughly grasp the great teachings and apply them with such relentless honesty. Truly you can perceive the world without delusion. You are indeed enlightened.

student: Master, it is true. I understand now what it means to see things as they truly are. Without arrogance I will agree with you that I am truly enlightened. There is just one thing.

master: Yes?

student: When I came to you to seek the spiritual life I was vaguely unsatisfied with my life. Now that I'm enlightened I find that I'm still vaguely unsatisfied. Since I see without delusion, I know that I am, in fact, vaguely unsatisfied.

master: Yes, you see without delusion and what you see is that your life is vaguely unsatisfying. So it follows that your life is vaguely unsatisfying.

student: But I already knew that 20 years ago!

master: You were right.

Christianity is my koan

Satori here I come.

mu