toxic thought waste site

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Christian pr0n

One thing I've learned from listening to Christian talk shows is that porn addiction is a big problem for Christian men. A big throbbing penetrating problem. (Sorry, I can't help it). I wonder what the Biblical basis is for saying porn is anti-Christian. Perhaps it was in the Sermon on the Mount. (get it? mount? this stuff practically writes itself). The book that is frequently recommended is "Every Man's Battle". Furthermore there are software packages that will keep a log of where you visit so others can check up on you. You can even have this log shared with another person struggling with porn addiction so you can check up on each other. I can only imagine this is mostly used inadvertently as a porn recommendation service.

Which brings up a business opportunity. I guarantee you will make a million dollars off of this idea. If I wasn't already busy serving Satan in other ways I'd totally do this. So here's the concept for you: Christian themed porn. Get spiritual and horny at the same time.

For centerfolds we have the sultry and seductive ladies of the Bible:
  • Bathsheba
  • Mary Magdalene (the harlot)
  • Salome
  • Jezebel
  • almost all the women mentioned in the old testament are prostitutes so it should be pretty easy to get material

A few video scenarios:
  • Missionaries come to the door (like the pizza guy in regular porn) the female evangelee (and her nubile roommate) get really hot and
    bothered about accepting Jesus and you can guess the rest. Note my restraint in not making a missionary position comment.
  • Show some of the hot and nasty action in Sodom and Gomorrah.
  • and of course before the fall Adam and Eve ran around naked. That has to be good for something. (hint: Eve, naughty snake, interspecies erotica - do I have to spell it out?)

For a phone service you can confess your sins to a nun who knows how naughty you've been and forgives you over and over and over again (in a sexy voice). Try to break *that* habit (habit, get it? OK, I'll stop). Hmmm... there should also be an escort service that features nuns, but I suspect that is already being done.

Considering the number of gay pastors in Colorado alone I'm guessing you should have a whole gay Christian porn site as well, but I'm not going to give you any ideas because it makes me feel a little bit icky (but curious) to think about that.

So there you go. If you make a million dollars off of this idea, please send me some. The one thing missing is a name for this company, but I can't do everything. If you are feeling creative please make a suggestion in the comments.



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