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Sunday, April 01, 2007

Dawkins: On the road to Damascus..

Dawkins Conversion Shocker!

[AP Cambridge] Richards Dawkins, world famous atheist and Dr Who fan reports that he has converted to Christianity, specifically Southern Baptist. When asked what prompted this highly unusual 180 change in views he made the following press release available.
Praise Jesus! First of all I want to apologize for all the murders, abortions and homosexual rampages that my belief in evolution has caused. God has forgiven me and I can only hope you will as well. Secondly I want to thank the Lord of Creation for showing me the truth after all these years.

Many will be fairly incredulous at my sudden change in beliefs. The truth is that I've felt uneasy about promulgating the lie of evolution for so many years but I felt sort of trapped by the atheist hate machine that is modern biology and I wasn't sure how to escape. Then one night staying at a motel during my book tour I happened to open the drawer looking for some Darjeeling tea when I happened upon a Bible. Now I have said a lot of harsh things about this book in the last few years, but the truth is I had never actually read it and had based most of my criticisms on Google searches. Well, I tell you friends, I started reading that blessed tome and found I couldn't stop. These words were more sweet than any music in my ears and the taste of the sweetest honey on my lips. And I didn't have to read far to find the answers I had been searching for all these years. "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." I mean, duh! It really is that simple once the scales have been removed from your eyes.

I can't believe how many times I have recited the atheist lies. As if saying something over and over makes it true. I have known for a long time that mutations can only make things worse, not better but when you are Hell bent on disproving God you will do or say anything. But now the blind have been made to see. Yes friends, it looks designed because it is designed. It says so right here in this quite aptly named Good Book.

One more thing: remember either there is a God or their isn't. If there is then you have everything to gain or lose. If not what does it matter? That's a 50% chance. Please consider going to church as soon as possible.

God Bless!
It has been reported that Dawkins has quit his position as professor of the public understanding of science and will be taking a position at the Discovery Institute where he will direct the Intelligent Design Interdisciplinary 0pen Teaching Symposium (IDIOTS). Anonymous sources have hinted that massive quantities of peanut butter has been shipped in for some top secret research projects.

Dawkins also reports the title of his next book will be "The Evolution Delusion".

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1 Comments:

Blogger nullifidian said...

Happy AF day! :)

Sun Apr 01, 06:52:00 AM  

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