toxic thought waste site

Theological whimsy, metaphysical larks, and other spiritually radioactive waste products.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

The KJV in a blender

(A markov chain bible chapter using the entire KJV as input. The final verse is especially, er, chilling)

1:01 crow, thou shalt take the goods of his land:

1:02 And thou shalt fear, and let him acknowledge that the children of Ammon;

1:03 And Gilead, and Galilee, all the set feasts, by number, according to Christ Jesus:

1:04 That ye love one another, even as a servant, for a memorial before the ark of the Chaldeans:

1:05 for thou shalt not be purged from thy glory, and wisdom, and bow myself in great abundance.

1:06 And Solomon said, If we say then? Shall we give, or shall the earth feared, and said, He is antichrist, that denieth me before men, to pray before the LORD;

1:07 for he beareth not fruit he taketh away:

1:08 and they shall smite him;

1:09 or if there be any work that they might stand before their eyes, and, behold, they are consumed out of your dwellings.

1:10 And Pharaoh said unto them, and returned unto the king, That Daniel, which art infamous and much vexed.

1:11 Behold, the Hebrews hath met with us of his person, and well favoured.

1:12 And it came to her maidens.

1:13 She considereth a field, and thou shalt eat it in her month they shall burn it on a smoke, because the LORD which is a feast by an ordinance for Israel unto this day;

1:14 give me half thine house, and his hand toward heaven, that thou doest well to draw water.

1:15 And he answered, Here am I.

1:16 Are they not judge.

1:17 Shall I yet to cry unto God a more sure word of God made a covenant of the offering up of the LORD was there upon me.

1:18 They that forsake the idols of Egypt:

1:19 in vain shalt thou change them, and the priests of the children free.

1:20 Notwithstanding, lest we should pray for you in Egypt since it became as a bride adorned for her husband.

1:21 And I will make drunk her princes, and gave him to be feared above all gods.

1:22 For all this people, who have purposed to return unto thee the righteous shall be of the priests the Levites which are my people, and tongues, stood before the testimony, and cover you with mine own bowels:

1:23 Whom I would not destroy it for me, O thou fairest among women? what is his body, according to the earth.

1:24 And when the Jews which dwelt in a strange woman, from the pestilence;

1:25 that they might put us therein.

1:26 And when they had emerods in their own souls by their own confusion, as with his face about, and when thou shalt make two cherubims of gold, and for every man's money was not to covetousness.

1:27 Turn away my peace be with the mouth of the tabernacle of the LORD thy God, those deliver thou me.

1:28 For ye know these things will I send pestilence among you;

1:29 that ye might be the woman returned out of the night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, is the stumblingblock of their enemies:

1:30 and awake for thee, and as for me, which to day into mine hand?

1:31 Now therefore kill every woman

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