Dear God, it's me, that one guy

One of the challenges sometimes made by Christians is that if you are willing to open your heart to god he will make his will known to you.

Well I really, really, really don't want to go to hell so I don't know why god won't give me a revelation or two. Of course the problem is I can't say the sinner's prayer with any honesty. I'm assuming god would know that I still believe he is imaginary and it would null and void my prayer attempt. And furthermore, what if the sinner's prayer is directed to the wrong god or otherwise has the theological underpinnings all wrong? So to cover my ass here is my open ended prayer I came up with that I can say and mean:

Dear any one or anything capable of reading my thoughts,

If you care whether or not I believe in you AND have some sort of plan for me AND there will be some benefit to me for having this belief AND following this plan is not going to hurt anyone else AND for some reason I've missed the attempts to contact me in the past, then please give me some sort of non-ambiguous sign.

I recommend everyone pray this now just to CYA. You can at least say you tried. If anyone gets a response please let me know what you hear.

[atheism]